Simple, Not Easy
In marriage counseling for husbands, there’s a moment I see again and again.
After many sessions working with a husband and discussing all the various details of his marriage (the differences between him and his wife, the challenges that get in the way, and the strengths and weaknesses that each brings to the relationship), it’s not uncommon for a lightbulb to go off.
He may say something like, “I guess I JUST need to appreciate her more,” or “I JUST need to stop challenging her,” or “I JUST need to work on my anger.”
The therapist may quietly smirk to himself: “Just? JUST?!?”
We’ve been working on this for the past three months, and you’re telling me you JUST need to appreciate her more, stop challenging her, or work on your anger?
Why Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy
Here’s the thing: JUST because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy!
Change Is a Lot Like Dieting
It’s a little like dieting. It’s actually pretty simple to figure out what needs to be done. Eat less of certain foods, stop aimlessly wandering to the fridge or pantry, exercise regularly, drink more water, and get enough sleep.
The roadmap is fairly simple. But is it easy? Absolutely not!
Why is it so hard to stay away from the pantry? What triggers me to turn to food for comfort? What can I do to help myself avoid overeating?
Knowing What to Do Is Only Half the Battle
Knowing WHAT to do is one thing. Understanding WHY it’s so hard to do it, and figuring out HOW to make those changes, is another.
Marriage Counseling for Husbands: Turning Realization Into Real Change
And so, yes, “I JUST need to work on validating her and appreciating her for who she is” may be 100% accurate.
But let’s be clear: Marriage takes work. You can’t simply overcome years of habits and tendencies just like that.
The realization may be simple. Putting it into practice is where the real work begins.
If you know what needs to change but can’t seem to make it stick, marriage counseling in Atlanta or men’s counseling can help you turn the realization into real change.
Looking for support as a husband? Get in touch here or call 678-977-0515.
Related reading: The Marriage Learning Curve | When Your Attitude Speaks Louder Than Your Words