Looking for games to get kids to open up? Here’s where I start.
This is Part 2 of my series. If you missed it, start with Part 1: The Magic Tricks of Getting Your Child to Open Up.
So, the goal is to get your children to open up without feeling like they’re being questioned. How do you do it?
Think of Conversation Like a Game of Tennis
Since their language is often through play, find a game that gets them engaged.
Think of a conversation like a game of tennis. You serve the ball into their court, and they return it. Back and forth, back and forth. That’s how a conversation works.
But when you try engaging a kid by asking straight-up questions, he often doesn’t swing. Or he swings and misses.
The problem? You’re not serving the ball in a way that makes it easy for him to return it.
So how do you serve it differently?
Turn the conversation into a game!
Two Truths and a Lie: A Simple Game to Get Kids to Open Up
For instance, try Two Truths and a Lie.
Each person takes a turn sharing three statements. Two are true, and one is made up. The other person has to guess which one is the lie.
Now imagine your child takes a turn and shares these three things about his day:
“I sat next to Jeremy at lunch, we played kickball at recess, and we had a substitute teacher.”
For starters, you just learned a few things about his day without even asking him!
And you’d be surprised what else might come up. Your child might casually mention something like, “I was in the principal’s office earlier today.”
Wait. What? Why in the world would he share that with you when he might never have brought it up otherwise?
You’re working your magic!
He doesn’t feel like you’re INTERROGATING him about his day. You’re playing a game. He’s having fun, thinking, and being creative. And in the process, he’s sharing things about himself.
How One Game Turns Into a Real Conversation
And here’s another fascinating part.
Once you’ve gotten him engaged in the game, you may be able to “fall into” an actual conversation.
You might ask a follow-up question about one of his statements, and suddenly, the conversation takes off. Why? Because you’ve already gotten the ball rolling. He’s comfortable, he’s engaged, and the conversation is flowing.
Remember the tennis analogy? You’ve served the ball, he’s returned it, and before you know it, you’re engaged in a full-on volley!
Compare that to asking, “How was your day?”
“Pretty good.”
End of conversation.
Not quite the same game, is it?
If you’d like more tools for connecting with your child, my family counseling and parenting support services are a good place to start.
Looking for support with your child? Get in touch here or call 678-977-0515.
Related reading: Part 1: The Magic Tricks of Getting Your Child to Open Up | Tug of War with Teens: What’s Actually Going On?