The Therapy Roadmap

Q: I don’t want to go to a therapist and just talk about my issues. I don’t see how that helps at all. Can you give me a clear explanation as to how marriage counseling/coaching will help?

A: Yes. From a solution-focused lens, here is the bird’s eye-view of what therapy should look like:

Step #1: Know your Destination

Before you can get anywhere, you need to know what it is you would like to accomplish and what your “end goal” is. This is true in all areas of life. Whether you’re looking for change that is personal, professional, or relational, you need to first clarify what it is you want. You need to have a clear picture of the Destination, the desired outcome.

Think Waze – Before you start traveling, you need to enter an address. If you don’t know your ultimate destination, you are going to wander and get lost…

Sounds simple, right?

You should know, many people initially struggle with this first step.

I often ask my clients: “If things would be better, if the situation were different and you were feeling good about ________________  – What would that look like?”

It’s very hard for many to articulate this. They know what’s annoying them, they know what’s frustrating them, but they rarely have a clear picture of the changes they would like to see.

By asking the right questions, a solution-focused therapist will encourage you to flesh out WHERE would like to go.

Step #2: Directions – The Next Steps

Once you know where you’re headed, you need to figure out the next best steps to get there.

It will take time to reach the ultimate destination, but for the time being, there are concrete steps that you can take to progress towards that end goal.

A therapist/coach can help you flesh out concrete, sustainable goals. He can also help you by keeping you accountable and ensuring that you’re accomplishing those goals.

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